I Like Potatoes

If you’ve somehow stumbled upon this site, and you’re fans of one of the people I’ve listed, I need to tell you that you’re stupid. Just like that. You’re stupid and now you’re my mortal enemy too. And it’s your fault. It’s all your fault.

Mortal Enemies List (in no particular order):

Claire Danes

I don’t know why, but I just hate her. She didn’t bother me too much in “My So Called Life” (even though I didn’t particularly like the show) but ever since then I just can’t stand her. No reason really. Just do.

Tony Danza

This fiery ball of Italian awesomeness angers me. His talk show was entertaining only if you were taking a drink every time he said “I” or “Me”. His ego is the size of Neptune. No, really, it is. However, he was in Taxi….but, who cares. He deserves this.

Mel (From Alice)

No, not Vic Tayback dammit, just Mel. This hothead not only scared Alice and Flo and the gang, but also me as a youth. He may have had a heart of gold, but I still wanted him dead. Good riddance, Mel!! (I miss you Vic Tayback).

Tom Skerritt

Me and this sonuvabitch have had a feud for years. It started with a poker game and still hasn’t ended. You know what you did, Skerritt, you know!!

Wink Martindale

Don’t let that wry smile fool you, he’s evil. I’m NOT, I repeat, NOT, saying that he’s raped and killed women for over 30 years now. I’m NOT saying that at all. Wink.

Brooke Shields

I’ve hated this woman with all my heart for over 15 years now. Once she took Andre Agassi’s hand and nearly destroyed him, I’ve always held a grudge. Once, in Greenwich Village, I confronted her and told her what I thought. She stabbed me with a blade hidden in her hair. Maybe I had it coming, but she still does. Beware Brooke (and I know, I know, 500 feet).