I Like Potatoes

In a candid and drunken interview early Sunday morning, Lorne Michaels, the creator and producer of the long running Saturday Night Live television program, admitted to what many have suspected for a long time.

“I haven’t cared at all about SNL for years,” he blabbered. “I’m a 65-year old man with a wife and grand kids, the last thing I know is what’s interesting and hip in comedy anymore. I’m old and out of touch and have lost any sense of how good cutting-edge comedy can be. I mean, take for instance last week, I had one of the most eccentric and original comics of his day in Zach Galifiniakious. I let him do a couple of interesting things, but then I mostly made the show feature some of our interminable recurring characters that even the people who play them don’t think are funny. If I had any pride left there’d be major changes. But, like I said, I just don’t care.”

These words don’t come as a shock to any loyal SNL viewer who has seen the show’s writing detoriorate ever since head writer Tina Fey left in 2006 for her own, far, far, far, far superior show, 30 Rock. SNL, which has launched the careers of Chevy Chase, Gilda Radner, Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, Bill Murray, Eddie Murphy, Dana Carvey, Phil Hartman, Mike Myers, Chris Farley, Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, David Spade, Will Ferrell and Tina Fey (to just name a few), is not struggling due to lack of talent. Even Michaels admits this.

“I think I’ve collected solid, interesting and funny performers, but I just don’t know what to do with them. So I put Kristen Wiig in nearly every sketch and completely overexpose her. I let Kenan Thompson play the exact same character over and over and over again. Sometimes they’re good, but there’s no filter. I usually completely waste Jason Sudeikis, Andy Samberg and Will Forte. I don’t know, screw it. Who cares?” the intoxicated and brutally honest Michaels asks.

Well, the loyal viewers do, Lorne. The show used to be must-see. Even as recently as 2008 it was must-see, but only because Tina Fey came back and played Sarah Palin. And with the additional loss of Amy Poehler to her far, far superior show Parks and Recreation, the show lacks strong women characters. Though newcomers Abby Elliot, Nasim Pedrad and Jenny Slate have shown some potential when given the chance.  

Michaels sums up the situation perfectly as he downs another double gin and tonic. “When we started in the 70’s, we were fresh and audacious and full of the ‘it’s us against them’ mentality. In the late 80’s and early 90’s we developed funny actors and funny recurring characters that brought us more word-of-mouth than ever. When we revamped in the mid-90’s and brought in Will Ferrell and Fey and them, we brought more of an abstract, loud and witty touch to the show. That stayed for a while, but, I don’t know, it’s just gone. I just feel comfortable with what I know people can do. That’s why we do the same sketches over and over and over again. It’s easy. Believe me, if my 30-year-old version of myself could see this 65-year-old version, I’d kick his ass and fire him. But, now I’m filthy rich and all-powerful and this is how I choose to be. So leave me alone.”

And thus, leave SNL alone.